Re: pythons...
Once upon a long time ago, I ran with some boys that had a quail hunting lease outside of Del Rio, TX. Go down and feed the road, hunt two to a jeep and kill quail. In the pursuit of quail, we'd run into ample numbers of rattle snakes. Actually, they were rather good. Some people say that chicken tastes similar to them.
However, I've never had python. Snake was very easy to prepare. They skin easier than a rabbit and gut very easily. Roast, pan fry, you name it. Never had one over a Weber.
Although, I very much like your idea of returning it and demanding a refund. That might be more fun if they were still alive.