Bret "the wad" Kavanuts...
My name us Bret Kavanuts and I must amend my claims of innocence.
AH HAVE SINNED!
One time in 1982, being hung like Johnny "The Wad" Holmes and twice as horny, I jumped Santa Clause...stole his sleigh...pumped Rudolf in the bum...and went around the world in one night phucking ever woman in the world. Phucked you, Phucked your mama, phucked your grandmama, Phucked double hard on your, been dead for 150 years, great, great, great, great Grandma, too.
Don't you remember when I phucked you? I was there...humped your butt twice.
I'm guilty, guilty, guilty.