I live on what has, unfortunately, become a very busy road. Twenty years ago we barely stopped and looked when leaving the driveway. Now, sometimes, we have to wait for five or six cars to go by. The road is curvy and in places would even qualify as switchback. As a result of the curves people seem to think it's a slalom course. The Cops don't patrol the road because it's county and there aren't enough sheriffs to do the job, as a result people also think the name of the road spells out autobahn in backwater little town-ese.

Anyway...the Woman and I were safely ensconced in our perspective perches viewing some tubilision. Boomish, squeal, crashes sound permeates our tranquility.

Couldn't decide if it was yet another drunk redneck that torched his car off into the neighbors or our mailboxes...AGAIN...or if someone had to turn around because they might have forgotten something at the house and was burning rubber in disgust at themselves for forgetting something. Couldn't tell from the sound.

Broke out my newly purchased...shines really bright flashlight...I bought, in part, for this very reason. Shine light and see something shining back. Hmm...part of the neighbors mailbox(I could see mine standing). Couldn't tell if it was a wreck. If I could I would have just called 911 from the house...I have a direct link, I've called so many times before.

Crap! I'm going to have to go down there this time. It's 9:40 pm...it's dark. I pop on my 300 dollar boots and loosely lace them up missing most of the hooks. Thinking that's just a piece of trash looking back at me when I shine the light on it. I get in the truck and drive down the driveway...look off into the muck where the shiny thing was. Turn right out of the driveway...look off into the "swamp". Damn, it's a wreck. Could tell it was a rollover. Call 911...go down to the next driveway and come back...looking at where the wreck started...talking to 911 the whole time. Parked my truck back in my driveway...got out...walked across the street...lite up the truck...nothing in the form of a human. Could see his windshield was out and laying behind and next to the truck...driver side door was open. I then walked up the road in the direction of where the wreck started, looking for ejected bodies in the ditch. Made my way back to the truck...it sitting right side up in about a foot and a half of water. OK, that's good at least that it's sitting upright. There's a shirt that got flung out of the truck and is hung up in a bush. I'm relaying this info to dispatcher cause their asking a million questions. If you never called 911...here's something you may be shocked by...prepare yourself for a game of 20 questions.

OK...here's why I'm disappointed in myself. I refused to let myself wade into the swamp(as we call it) because of every conceivable reason I could come up with in my head to not. First and mainly...I didn't want to see a mangled body. Didn't want that haunting my head. Didn't know where the person was...could they have wandered up to the house where I had left the Woman. To reasoning with myself that I didn't see anyone floating face down in the swamp so they're in the truck dead or alive. all the way down to...my boots aren't tied on good and I don't want to get them stuck in the mud and pulled off my feet...having cost me 300 bucks and all.

I didn't go render aid to a fellow human. I waited on the cops, who I knew would take about 4 minutes to get here but seemed like a half an hour. I could not make myself go into that swamp. I tried to flag down several passing cars so someone could at least hold my flashlight while I went in. Nobody would stop. Can't blame them though. I just didn't want to see a mangled body. I've rushed into "the fire" on several occasions in my younger day but I sure froze up last night. I wonder if that has something to do with getting older? Or have I just become a coward?

Wow...extremely disappointed in self this morning.

Guy turned out to be OK but I did not know that when I was frozen in place justifying my cowardice.

We get tested on occasion...I failed the test last night. heavy sigh.